Hydeia contracted HIV at birth from a drug addicted mother, was later adopted and cared for by a family in Vegas and has went on to become an international HIV activist since first appearing on Oprah at age 6.
In her interview, with LOOP 21, Hydeia explains how people’s attitudes towards HIV/AIDS has changed over the years as well as how it affects her social life. Check out he interview below:
What do you think has improved in terms of people’s understanding of and attitudes towards HIV and AIDS?
I believe the younger generation tends to be de-sensitized, because they don’t really know how huge an issue HIV/AIDS was in the 80s.
My 19-year-old sister [who is positive] has no problem dating guys her age. They are so open and not afraid, not like the guys my age who remember growing up afraid of getting AIDS. While that’s good for my sister’s generation, it’s kind of scary because there isn’t a sense of fear. I think my generation let them down because we forgot to inform and show them the true reality of AIDS.
If you’re HIV-positive, when do you disclose your status? On the date? Before a date? As soon as you meet? As soon as you’re interested?
I have a three-date rule. By the third date is when it’s time to let someone know—but a lot of people don’t start dating until after they have already had sex. You need to let your partner know before you take it that far.
If the person rejects you, then look at the bright side—at least you find out sooner then later what type of person they really were.
Once you’ve told someone you’re involved with (or hope to be involved with) that you are HIV-positive, what are the best questions he or she can ask to help things move forward?
The best question: “What are the ways I can stay negative?”
It’s important that people understand a person’s first reaction may be fear. Make sure you have all the answers to their questions and be willing to take that person with you to a doctor’s visit so they can ask other things themselves. I made such a point of taking my ex-boyfriend with me that my doctor would ask where he was if he didn’t see him by my side.
In all of your activist work and speaking engagements, what is the main thing people want to ask you about dating someone with HIV?
“Can you have sex or have children?” The answer is yes, I can. I have engaged in a healthy monogamous relationship. Currently, I choose to abstain. Due to advancements in medicine, a person, male or female, can get married and have children without passing HIV onto their loved ones.
We often hear that condom use is down…
A study recently said that condom use is up! However, I don’t feel enough [teens or twenty-somethings] are practicing safe sex because not enough adults are talking to the youth about sex and how to stay safe.
What’s the best way to encourage people to practice safe sex?Via Loop 21
Be real with them about what can happen if they don’t. Simply by Googling pictures of STD outbreaks can be a wake-up. Or let people know there is no cure for AIDS and not everyone has access to the life-saving medications they may need. If you don’t have health insurance, it could cost almost $4000 a month for medications and that doesn’t include the cost for doctor’s visits, blood tests or other medications you may need.
At the end of the day, safe sex or no sex is better then a positive test result. Please remember people are still dying—maybe not at an alarming rate, but some do lose their fight against AIDS.
