The simple answer is, yes. However, there’s a science behind the madness. Have you ever dated a guy and just got frustrated at his inadequacies? For example, he doesn’t call as much as he should, he seems to lack the subtle manners everyone should have, he introduces you as “just friends” when you’ve been seeing each other for a while or he decides to remain silent instead of talking things out when you’re in a serious argument. In most of these cases, you were right, “He should know better.” So why doesn’t he act like it?
Have you ever seen your phone ringing and waited for it to ring a few times before picking up just so it didn’t seem like you were sitting on the phone? Men do similar things, but because men are typically inclined to do whatever it takes to be with a woman, it pisses women off when a man doesn’t react the way she thought he would. However, the man is only trying to exert power over the things he can control. He just chooses a horrible route to get to that goal. Men don’t want to come across as thirsty or whipped, so they tend to do things they know will piss you off purposely.
I had a friend tell me that he didn’t do something his girlfriend asked him to because, “that’s what she wants” him to do. I had a confused look on my face.
“Why did you do that?” I asked. “Did it upset you morally? Instead of ignoring the request, why not tell her why you chose not to do it?”
“You can’t give women everything they want,” he responded.
“I’m sorry but that doesn’t make any sense to me,” I told him. “It pretty much goes against everything my father taught me. If you want to get a girl to like you, give her what she wants.”
I’m not sure that everything my father taught me was right, but that piece of advice, has always worked out for me.
Never discount the fact that some men are slaves to their friends’ opinions. What do I mean by that? A lot of men feel the need to represent for their friends. They get this undying need to be the a*s hole of the group. I learned early on in life that a whole lot of men say things in public, but when they are alone with their woman, they are completely different people. There are just some people who are not smart enough to realize that and they end up doing things to their woman just to be an a*s hole.
I was riding in a car with my homie, it wasn’t even his car, it was his girl’s car, and he was talking to her on the phone. They had a heated exchange about when he would be bringing the car back, and he just hung up the phone.
“Boi, you can’t be hanging up the phone on that girl like that,” I said.
But in his mind, he was the man. He had just shown me (someone he’s not sleeping with) that he was in charge of his relationship.
You have to think back to grade school to really understand this concept. Do you remember the boy who liked you, and how he would terrorize you on the playground? That’s the age-old example of the boy poking a girl with a stick. What was he really trying to get at? He was clearly interested in you, but terrorizing your life was his way of showing some affection. A little later when you confronted him about his liking you, his response was probably, “Eeel, no way. You’ve got cooties!” Yet all the while, he liked you. At times, even our conditioning has been conditioned. And as men, who at an early age develop the habit of pissing women off to get anywhere with them, that’s who we grow up to be. And I guess the biggest takeaway from this post is that most men know they are pissing you off and do it anyway. Now that you’ve gotten the answer to your question, “Why does he make me so mad?” The only question that remains is, “What am I going to do about it?”
